I think we all knew this was coming: Singer Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef on "South Park," announced yesterday that he is leaving the animated series. Hayes, a Scientologist, cited the Comedy Central show's recent Scientology-centered episode as the motivation for his deaprture:

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said. "Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he continued. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."

"South Park" creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, hardly ones to shy away from a controversy, fired back at Hayes immediately. Said Stone:

This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem -- and he's cashed plenty of checks -- with our show making fun of Christians.

And Parker:

[We] never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin.

[Yahoo! News] Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park'

The crazy couch-jumper finally did something intelligent:

Tom Cruise has dumped his sister in favor of a real publicist. Paul Bloch, co-chairman of Rogers and Cowan, will take over for Lee Anne DeVette, who took over Cruise's career after the megastar dumped Pat Kingsley in the spring of 2004. DeVette, meanwhile, is going to segue over to handling Cruise's "charitable efforts" – which, judging by her previous work and his demonstrable interests, presumably means she's turned into some kind of Scientology Czar for the Cruise Organization.

This may be the most well-deserved firing in the history of Hollywood: DeVette served a mere 20 months as her brother's publicist, but during that time Cruise consistently received the worst publicity of his career. [Cinematical] Cruise dumps his sister: Variety in 60 Seconds

(I promise this will be the last "Tom Cruise does something stupid" post for a long, long time...)

What has the world come to when fake journalist Matt Lauer is the only American interviewer willing to challenge Tom Cruise's pseudoscientific crusade?

The scary thing is, Lauer didn't do a half bad a job (when Cruise would let him speak) on this morning's "Today" show, particularly on the topics of psychiatry, anti-depressants, and Brooke Shields:

Matt Lauer: But Tom, if [Brooke Shields] said that this particular thing helped her feel better, whether it was the antidepressants or going to a counselor or psychiatrist, isn't that enough?

Tom Cruise: Matt, you have to understand this. Here we are today, where I talk out against drugs and psychiatric abuses of electric shocking people, okay, against their will, of drugging children with them not knowing the effects of these drugs. Do you know what Aderol is? Do you know Ritalin? Do you know now that Ritalin is a street drug? Do you understand that?

Lauer: The difference is...

Cruise: No, no, Matt.

Lauer: This wasn't against her will, though.

Cruise: Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt...

Lauer: But this wasn't against her will.

Cruise: Matt, I'm asking you a question.

Lauer: I understand there's abuse of all of these things.

Cruise: No, you see. Here's the problem. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.

Lauer: Aren't there examples, and might not Brooke Shields be an example, of someone who benefited from one of those drugs?

Cruise: All it does is mask the problem, Matt. And if you understand the history of it, it masks the problem. That's what it does. That's all it does. You're not getting to the reason why. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance.

Lauer: So, postpartum depression to you is kind of a little psychological gobbledygook...

Cruise: No. I did not say that.

Lauer: I'm just asking what you, what would you call it?

Cruise: No. No. Abso— Matt, now you're talking about two different things.

Lauer: But that's what she went on the antidepressant for.

Cruise: But what happens, the antidepressant, all it does is mask the problem. There's ways, [with] vitamins and through exercise and various things... I'm not saying that that isn't real. That's not what I'm saying. That's an alteration of what I'm saying. I'm saying that drugs aren't the answer, these drugs are very dangerous. They're mind-altering, antipsychotic drugs. And there are ways of doing it without that so that we don't end up in a brave new world. The thing that I'm saying about Brooke is that there's misinformation, okay. And she doesn't understand the history of psychiatry. She doesn't understand in the same way that you don't understand it, Matt.

Lauer: But a little bit of what you're saying Tom is, you say you want people to do well. But you want them do to well by taking the road that you approve of, as opposed to a road that may work for them.

Cruise: No, no, I'm not.

Lauer: Well, if antidepressants work for Brooke Shields, why isn't that okay?

When even Matt Lauer thinks you're full of shit, you're probably full of shit.

No matter what the Democrats say, Cruise is currently a far bigger threat to science and reason than the Christian right will ever be. I suspect that even President Bush knows that vitamins and exercise would be a useless prescription for post partum depression.

As I turn down the lights on this topic for good (or at least until something truly newsworthy happens), I want to end with a quote from the 1987 film "Broadcast News." I think it serves as an excellent summary of what we've all learned about the former Thomas Mapother during the last few weeks:

I know you care about him. I've never seen you like this about anyone, so please don't take it wrong when I tell you that I believe that Tom, while a very nice guy, is the Devil. [...] What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing. He will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny bit. [...] And he'll get all the great women.

[MSNBC Today] 'I'm passionate about life'