From last night's episode of "Family Guy:"

Today I watched a Gwen Stefani marathon on VH-1. I don't know what a Hollaback Girl is. All I know is that I want her dead.

I spent last night on the Strip to take in two shows presented by The Comedy Festival, a Las Vegas spinoff of the highly successful U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen.

First up was "Family Guy Live in Las Vegas" in the Colosseum at Caesar's Palace. "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane (who voices numerous characters on the show, including Peter, Brian, Stewie, and Quagmire) and comedian Alex Borstein (the voice of Lois) performed several numbers from the show and its spinoff CD. They were backed by a full orchestra and chorus conducted by the series' music composer Walter Murphy. As if this weren't enough, the audience was treated to a showing of the previously unaired episode, "The Courtship of Stewie's Father." (The episode -- a very good one -- premieres tonight on Fox.) Musical highlights of the evening include Peter Griffin's "I Need a Jew," from the controversial episode "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," and Peter and Lois's R-rated rendition of "You Don't Bring Me Flowers."

Next up was VH1's "Best Week Ever Live" at The Flamingo Showroom. "Best Week Ever" regulars Paul Scheer, Christian Finnegan, Danielle Schneider, and Doug Benson each performed excerpts from their individual stand-up routines before joining up to show funny pop culture video clips followed by their even funnier commentary. Topics ranged from R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" to Paris Hilton's recent car accident to Ashlee Simpson's drunken visit to a Toronto McDonald's.

Before the show I was both delighted and scared shitless when the usher seated me in the front row -- dead center. Seems like anytime I see a comedy show, the poor schmuck in that seat always becomes part of the show. Well, last night was no different. During Doug Benson's standup I suddenly had a microphone thrust into my face:

Doug Benson: Where are you from, sir?

Me: Las Vegas.

Benson: Seattle is an interesting place. You know what they say. If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes. How long are you in town, sir?

Me: Ummm... I live here.

Benson: I think 7 days is way too long to stay. I mean, after spending all my time and money on drugs and hookers I still have to stay around for 6 more days.

Then, at the very end of the show, each of the stars nominated someone from the audience as their candidate for having the best week ever. All the nominees had to go on stage and make a short argument for why they should win. I was Benson's nominee but, alas, I didn't win. (Perhaps one of the reasons I lost is that I'm the kind of guy who uses a word like "alas" in a sentence... on a blog.)

All in all, not a bad way to spend a Saturday night.

Vegoose isn't the only upcoming entertainment festival in Vegas. Also vying for my money is November's The Comedy Festival, which features appearances by Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Chappelle, Jon Stewart, Dane Cook, Dennis Miller, George Lopez, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (to name but a few).

I've already picked up tickets for one show, Family Guy Live in Las Vegas:

In a comedy festival first, "Family Guy" and "American Dad" Creator, Executive Producer and Star Seth MacFarlane will perform a live concert of select material from his hilarious comedy album "Family Guy Live in Vegas." Accompanied by an orchestra of 30 musicians, and under the supervision of "Family Guy" composer and music supervisor Walter Murphy, Seth and his co-star Alex Borstein (MAD TV) will bring their animated personas of Peter, Brian and Stewie Griffin (MacFarlane) and Lois Griffin (Borstein) to uproarious life with songs and clips and never-before-seen "Family Guy" material. Says MacFarlane of "Family Guy Live in Vegas," "It's a blend of the rich, lush arrangements of the classic era of Rat Pack Vegas shows combined with the fart jokes of today." This one-of-a-kind live musical event.

I'm also thinking about taking in the live version of VH1's Best Week Ever:

VH1's smash hit Best Week Ever comes to life on the Vegas Stage. See Paul Scheer, Christian Finnegan, Aziz Ansari and Doug Benson as they put the week in pop through the Sizzler, Upgrade / Downgrade, In Case You Missed it, Who Had the Best Week Ever, and more.

The Comedy Festival runs November 17-19 at Caesars Palace and The Flamingo. Tickets are available at Ticketmaster.com. (Judging by the tickets I got for Family Guy, there are still plenty of great seats available.)