After seeing her ample chest upstaged by one of the contestants last week, "Rock Star: INXS" host Brooke Burke reclaimed the title of "Skankiest Looking Person on the Show" by wearing a tiny little dress that emphasized just how gigantic and just how fake her boobs really are. That was probably a smart move given that she has no discernible talent, but the steadily decreasing amount of clothing worn by the people on this show (both male and female) is starting to grow a bit tiresome. At least the members of INXS seem to be keeping their clothes on.

In the recap of Sunday's VH1 broadcast, Dave Navarro asked each of the remaining contestants to write an original song to perform in this week's competition. After having time to compose a bit, it was revealed that only two people would actually be allowed to perform their original number, while everyone else would have to sing yet another cover tune. Worse yet, the contestants had to decide among themselves which two would be able to showcase their compositions. In the end, they left things to chance by drawing two names out of a hat.

Last night's performances were arguably the worst batch so far. Of the seven competitors, only the first three to walk onto the stage gave strong performances. The remaining four blew it in one way or another. Or in the case of the last performer, in every way possible.

People of Australia, why do you hate Suzie McNeil? She absolutely blows me away every week with her soulful voice, and last night was no exception. She managed to take the overplayed, overrated Rolling Stones’ tune "Start Me Up" and make me like it for the first time since about 1985. I realize she's not going to win this competition, but this woman has no business being in the bottom three. Not yet, anyway.

You have to hand it to J.D. Fortune. He has one of the weakest voices of the competition, but he always manages to turn in a great-ish performance. Last night he sang Foreigner's "Cold as Ice," and turned a tired arena rock staple into a high energy, crowd-pleasing anthem that had every single member of the audience pumping their fists in the air. I still don't think this guy has any business fronting INXS, but he's the only contestant who looks and acts like a rock star every time he hits the stage.

Deanna Johnston was the first of two contestants to unveil an original song last night. The tune was called "My Truth," and unlike every other performance Deanna's given on the show so far, this one was actually very good. Problem is, the competitor pool is dwindling and the song actually played too much to her voice's strengths. Brandon Calhoon retreated to too-safe material a couple of weeks ago, nailed it, and found himself eliminated anyway. I fear that a similar fate may await Deanna.

After essentially stealing all of the credit for Deanna's performance (at one point he even said "Deanna is singing my song"), oh-so-smug Ty Taylor took to the stage and did a four minute long impersonation of Tina Turner. The crowd and the band ate it up, and he hit all the difficult notes, but his rendition of "Proud Mary" sounded like something out of a revue show on a cruise ship. Absolutely dreadful. The members of INXS were glowing in their critiques, but I simply refuse to believe that they really found this schlock to be appropriate audition material for their band. The fact that he suckered all three remaining female contestants into singing backup for him made the performance that much more offensive.

MiG Ayesa was the other performer to unveil an original song last night. His was titled "Do or Die" and, stylistically speaking, it was all over the map. At times it sounded purely original, but at others it seemed to channel has-been bands like Journey and Creed (which is not a good thing in the year 2005). In the end, these disparate components made the song come off a bit too generic and disposable. Vocally, this was MiG's weakest performance in quite a while. For a guy who is usually so confident, he sounded surprisingly tentative last night.

After two rock-solid performances in a row, Marty Casey reverted back to his Eddie Vedder/Scott Weiland copycat persona for a rendition of Live's "I Alone." Marty was so busy playing the role of tense alterna-rocker that he forgot to bother hitting any notes. As with Ty, I find Marty's performance choices a bit perplexing. Under different circumstances a performance like this might warrant praise, but it's completely inappropriate for a tryout with INXS.

And finally Jordis Unga. Some people have complained that by not airing the preliminary rounds of this competition, INXS and CBS deprived viewers of the opportunity to see some entertainingly bad performances. Well, Jordis gave those people exactly what they wanted last night with a monumentally bad rendition of Aerosmith's "Dream On." From start to finish, her vocals appeared to be utterly out of her own control. Off key throughout, the performance entered the realm of the legendary when she attempted -- and spectacularly failed -- to hit a particularly high note at the song's end. Oh. My. God.

Predictions...
The early look at the bottom three at the end of last night's broadcast showed Deanna, Ty, and Jordis to be in jeopardy. This is a bit unfair for Deanna given that she was one of the few to give a good performance this week. If the world were just, Marty would take her place on the chopping block tonight. But given all the performances we've seen over the last couple of months, Deanna is arguably the weakest competitor left. For that reason, I have to believe she's going to be saying goodbye tonight. But given how bad Ty and Jordis performed, they are certainly at risk as well.

As for the weekly encore honor, I have to go with Suzie, partially because I'm biased and partially because she wins by default. J.D. was good but not exactly encore material, and Deanna's imminent elimination pretty much rules her out. That leaves Suzie. The only potential glitch in this reasoning is the addition of viewer voting into this week's encore selection. Suzie has never been particularly popular with voters, so that leaves a small opening for J.D. to slip in.

Encore:

Bottom Three:

Eliminated:

 

The "Rock Star" Graveyard...